Dean's Lament
by DAITYA
Summary: Dean's in pain since Sam left and tonight is no exception.


He was covered in blood, his blood leaking of his injuries and his bandages. He was smoking, lying in his bed and caressing his torso lazily. He was retracing his abs sticky with dry blood, waiting.

Sam, he thought, would have loved to lick him clean. To suck marks on his new and future scars, caressing and pressing where it hurts, murmuring sweet words in his ear, biting and licking, licking, sucking, kissing, bruising. And Dean would love that, humming Kashmir, stroking lazily his own cock while his brother would mark him in every way, maybe fingering him a bit before pounding him into the headboard.

He pulls his boxer to stare at his hard-on. Well, Sammy would have come handy here. Three months since he left for that stupid college of him, three months since he chose his fucking Apple-pie life over their relationship, over him. And it still hurts like a bitch when he realize that his Sammy, his one and only, might be between the boobs of one faceless blonde in California. And he hates that faceless girl, is jealous of her because she took the most precious thing in his life : his brother, his lover, his life, his Sammy.

Tears fills his eyes at that. He sobbed first, then cried and finally started to scream like someone was tearing his heart apart. He had a hole in his chest and no one to fill it up. Just someone who decided to leave him once again, destroying the little self-esteem he had.

It's true, if he was that perfect, why did Sam left huh ? If he was so beautiful, so nice, so passionate, so careful, so loving, why did Sam left ? He wanted to drive straight down Palo Alto and beat the shit out of this liar. Scream everything he has on his heart.

But he won't do it because he's a coward that can't even face his own brother. But he feels so bad, so broken...

He doesn't wanna think about it anymore, he just want to get drunk, jerk off or fuck someone stupid, and just drown his pain, numb the ache.

Dean gets up and walk to the door in order to lock it, doesn't want to be walked in by John. He takes whiskey, tequila and cheap chartreuse. Examining the three bottles, he choose to begin with the chartreuse, opening it and smelling it before emptying it in his throat. First he felt the burn, and then he felt better with the alcohol pooling in his stomach, making him dizzy. He walked back to his bed, falling in it.

\- Sammy... My Sammy...

He started to hump on the mattress, seeking friction. Dean dives in a headspace where is love is still here with him, pushing his dick between his ass cheeks, moaning sweet sweet Sammy things. He imagined his soft lips against his nape, licking his spine and squeezing his cheeks.

"Come on big brother, show me how much you love it when I pound that sweet ass of you until it's sore... Moan... Ngh ! For me Deeeeean !"

He parted his lips, humping harder into his dream. If he tried really hard, he could almost remember how it felt to have Sam balls deep in him, making him crazy with his bed skills only trained to make Dean a ball of moans, pleas and nerves. He moaned, going faster, faster, harder, faster. Dean bit his lips when he was about to shout, turning around to be on his back and taking his dick out of her fabric-cage. His erection was fierce and proud, pointing at the sky with all it's might. He smiled and palmed it shyly, almost like if it wasn't his.

He pumps, once, twice and the he doesn't count, he just stroke and pump, pressing his thumb on his balls and playing whit them for a while, searching for more pleasure. He is around his climax sooner than he expected, puffing air and moaning Sam name in an erotic litany. Like he is here with him, watching. But he isn't and Dean doesn't want to slap back into reality so he goes harder until he comes, milking himself on his torso, mixing blood and come. He is arching, still stroking until his cock is flat against his thigh and he is numb.

Dean goes still, looking at an invisible point in the wall, thoughtless. He needed to check on Sammy, to see him because he couldn't handle this situation anymore. Someone told him about their co-dependency once, one of his flavor of the town when he was something like seventeen. She was jealous because he was basically spending almost all of his time with Sam and not her. He wasn't even fucking her since he already was with Sammy at the time. It had been something like three or two years already and he was one of the happiest man in the world, he had everything and now he feels pathetic because he has nothing now and he is just miserable.

He cries that night, in the pillow.

* * *

This my first shot at English writing and I'm not really satisfied but I hope you liked it anyway ! Leave a review if you want (it pleases me a lot !) I wrote it for a friend ( sinningbro) go check on them please !

If you want a sequel to this, please let me know :) have a nice day !


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